Category: Lifestyle

There’s a seat at the table for all of us.

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“I don’t mind them doing good, just as long as they are not doing better than me…”

The other day, I read an article, talking about supporting each other and just how easy it is to do so. In our current age, businesses and companies all have social media as their way of promoting their brand and as a way of communicating with their customers. The article was mentioning that it really does not cost a lot to support a brand- in a non-financial way. 

Like a post. Share on your story. Give a shout out on your personal page. Sending a DM to someone. Collaborations and much more

So, what is exactly stopping us from believing that there truly is a seat at the table for everyone. For everyone to eat and benefit off of their labour? 

The community.

Now, I didn’t want to touch on this section of the overall topic, but I guess I have to briefly talk on it. Support within the black community. 

I believe there has always been an underlying hindrance in the black community when it comes to supporting each other. Whether it be with businesses, companies, freelance. I guess it’s to do with competition. Everyone’s desire to rise to the top and stay there- for nobody to claim their position

You see it even when we go into music. I find it funny how there are always battles between Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Remy Ma and so on. But at the end of the day, think of where they would be if we all just supported them equally. 

This also leads me to the topic of comparison, how it really is the thief of joy. Being and independent worker means you have to be your own critic in a way, you have to make judgment on your work and on your service – harshly
So when you see another person doing well, or even better than you, it can fuel the fire of not wanting to support- simply because you have compared yourself to them and have become affected by their growth. 

BUT you have to remember 

In this current day, support could probably be the best thing you can give to another person who is trying to get out there in the open. Whether it may be a share, a like, a promotion – all of these things help in one way or the other. 

Decided to keep this one short and sweet, just a thought to ponder on…

Thanks for reading!

Am I Being Useless ?

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“In this self-isolation period I have :

Started 7 businesses

Learnt how to trade

Hosted my own masterclass/live webinar

Read 10 books

Invested in 3 start-up companies

And so on…”

Now, I have likely lost count of how many times I have seen a tweet, story, picture or post similar to the above quote. Somebody posting of what they have achieved during this lockdown period- leaving me to question as a blogger- am I utilising my time wisely ? Am I plainly being useless ?

No, and you aren’t either.

The lockdown period had brought many changes to people’s everyday livelihood. What once was a time where we could freely go out and just celebrate our freedom, is now a time of it being taken away from us. And is now suddenly a time where everyone wants to be the most “productive” “successful” and make the most money. Everyone is preaching about how this lockdown period should make you :


LEARN A NEW SKILL

That’s the phrase, that’s exactly the words that got me up thinking on my Sunday afternoon, and I have two ways of viewing this

Playing devil’s advocate:

Now for those people who are driven by success, whether that may be in financial terms or fame, then I guess I can understand why they are so adamant on possessing a new skill or thinking fast of ways to fill their bank accounts. At the end of the day, in this current season- the internet is your golden token. So that’s why you are seeing more people write E-books, do masterclasses or webinars, start YouTube channels or collaborate with brands/companies. I guess the whole obsession with learning a new “skill” is what is important to these people, so they would be set once this bondage.. I mean lockdown is over.

Here’s my take:

I’m no expert in business, or branding at that, but what I do know is that it is not easy to start up a business. AT ALL There are lots of downfalls, cash losses and pits that you fall in, therefore just because we may have all the time in the world does not mean we should be so eager in starting one. There is no harm in learning a new skill honestly. Learning skills is what pushes us in life- however learning a skill with the pure incentive of becoming rich overnight ? I don’t think that’s the best thing to do. Additionally, I think that we shouldn’t be pressuring people to learn a new skill without no drive behind it. If you want to learn a new skill, normally there has to be a genuine interest that comes from it, otherwise it just becomes a chore.

And you would be surprised, there are a lot of business owners/ or content creators out there who are even urging people to not rush into anything, to get used to the change in routine and take some time to yourself- and I would agree. I would say to anyone feeling guilty of not being useful in anyway- DON’T. Trust me we are all in the same boat, learning how to adjust to the new system.

What are your thoughts on this ? are we rushing too much into the whole phase of learning new skills ?

Thanks for reading !

Your Mental Health in this Quarantine Period.

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It was after an online prayer session with my church group this week, where one of the leaders stated “ the reality of this period is that people’s mental health won’t be the same, they would come out as a different person” and I started to think of how true this statement was.

Adjusting to the WFH lifestyle was already tough. Being confined to a small desk or small space without the freedom of the commute (no matter how annoying it would be) to express your minds and have a think was really tough. Accompanied by the fact that you couldn’t separate work from home- if you had a stressful day or a heavy workload you would have to remain in the same place or environment where you dealt with it. All in all- it’s been tough.

I have compiled 5 tips together, which I think are essential with helping you with your mental health during this season. I hope these tips are useful and guide you to improving your mental health day by day.

  1. Stick with your regular routine

For many of us our regular routines of getting up and getting ready for work would have changed drastically since the lockdown period, and I’m sure this time would have had an affect on any entrepreneurs/self-employed workers too. However, this does not mean your routine needs to change. If you practiced self-care every Monday – continue ! If you went for a run every Saturday morning – continue ! (only once a day of course lol). The point is that life does not have to stop due to the pandemic, keep to your regular routine of doing what you love and make sure to stick to that routine even whilst working from home.

2. Limit your time on the news/media

As much as we want to keep up with the news surrounding the virus, keep up on any vital information the government may be providing us, it may be daunting to constantly hear negativity or hear sad news of deaths- it can increase the feelings of hopelessness and constant worry about how the virus is deteriorating. Therefore, limiting the amount of news you hear to just the morning may be best- get the negative news out of the way and then turn on a positive mindset for the remainder of the day

I would avoid listening to the news just before bed, this will prevent you from having worries during the night, it may even prevent you from getting to sleep on time for an early work start the following day.  

3. Get fresh air at least once a day

Although we are advised to stay indoors, I am so grateful that parks and large sparse areas are left open to do at least 1 form of exercise a day (and 1 form only- don’t go and sunbathe!) After watching a report on Sky News today, they  explained how they were purposely left there for exercise but also for mental health reasons. People use large spaces to free up their minds and release their thoughts- it can be your only form of escape during this time.

Several studies have confirmed that separation from nature is detrimental to human development, health and wellbeing, and that regular contact with nature is required for good mental health.

Therefore, if you feel like being in quarantine is seriously affecting your emotions then take advantage of the natural spaces around you

4. Speak to at least 1 person a day

If you are at home with family then this can help as you can talk to your siblings, partner or parents about how your day went. However, during this time where you may not see your friends or loved ones in a while- technology is your best friend. Whether it may be audio call, FaceTime, Skype, finding a way to talk to someone can distract you from the thought of being confined to one space. Having that one important phone call session can help distract you from the constant news of death or uncertainty and can help clear and free your mind.

And they always say- check up on those who appear the strongest !

5. Think Positively

This current period can bring nothing but anxiety, worry and confusion. I’m sure nobody would have imagined the sudden changes that we would have to follow due to the outbreak, and this can have an effect on people negatively- to avoid this, change the way you perceive the current situation we are in.

I think this graphic explains it best. This year would have brought many disappointments to plans such as travel plans, birthdays, social events etc. But if you learn to change your mindset from the FEAR ZONE to the GROWTH ZONE, it can improve your mindset as a whole. This is something not done overnight, and will take some time to implement

There you have it ! 5 tips to help your mental health during this period

Thanks for reading


Has God entered my 2020 ?

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Hey !

So, after deciding what post to write before March started, I thought to myself, I haven’t discussed my faith/journey with God on here in a while.

No particular reason, I guess I’ve had a transformation or a twist with my relationship with God lately.

Let’s get the negatives out of the way:

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2020 started on a high. I was in a good mood and everything I envisioned for this year, I looked at with a positive mindset towards it. I guess I can say the same for others, all I would hear from people were how they wanted to start afresh and leave the disaster that 2019 was. To start a new decade with a bang. 3 months into the year and I can say it’s been good so far, not easy but good, I guess.

Now, one thing I didn’t do this year was make a mood board/ vision board. My regular pattern of creating a vision of the year by writing it all out on pieces of paper and sticking it on my wall had taken a halt for this year. I guess I wanted to not put so much pressure on myself regarding goals I had to achieve and to just live, take each day as it comes.

But that came with a risk as I wasn’t being held accountable for anything- one being my relationship with God. The mood board acted as a way for me to check on myself and see if I was truly keeping up with what I wanted to do, so now that I didn’t have my mood board- I had no accountability.

My main goal for the year:

One thing I established in 2020 was that I didn’t want my faith/relationship with God to fluctuate. As that happened A LOT throughout 2020, one season I’m reading my bible and praying and then another season I found myself drifting away from God even more (blame procrastination). I did not want that to happen this year !

So how is that goal going – it’s much better than what it was previously. Although it’s only been 3 months I can say I haven’t fluctuated much, but I think the main goal is to increase my relationship with God. And not the typical saying of “get closer to God” but actually make it personal. I would like to find out my way of hearing from God. Some people hear from God through dreams, visions, the word- I would need to find my method

One thing I want to do is do deeper bible study. See the thing is, the Bible is really a history book, (this should be a walk in the park since it’s what I do in uni) so, it’s basically just evaluating what happened in each time frame of the bible, taking the valuable life lessons from it and applying it to my daily life !

How is your relationship going with God at the moment ? What are you striving to do to make this year count ?

Romans 8: 38 “ And I am convinced that nothing can separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love”

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Ghana : Why Everybody Ran Back !

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After seeing this pic on the gram, I knew that the Year of Return in Ghana had to be my next topic I blog about. You guessed it, over 1.5 million people took plane, ferry, catapult or whichever method of transport to get themselves from all over the world, to the sunny and vibrant lands of Ghana. From Ludacris to Cardi B and her infamous chichinga incident to even the Queen B’s mother herself spent new years in Ghana.

Of course, I was watching like a lot of my friends from my phone via SnapChat and Insta stories. Whilst I was drying my eyes of the tears due to not doing up enjoyment like everyone else, I do feel glad that I somewhat saved money. Prices skyrocketed to over 1 grand, and that’s just the tickets alone. If you didn’t get transport and accommodation sorted also, then I guess your bank accounts definitely felt the pain! Nevertheless, 2019 was the definitely the year of African awareness and self-consciousness.

The Year of Return

I actually had to find out from a colleague what it was and why it meant so many people were returning home ( they need to teach this during BHM in schools ).

“The “Year of Return, Ghana 2019” is a major landmark spiritual and birth-right journey inviting the Global African family, home and abroad, to mark 400 years of the arrival of the first enslaved Africans in Jamestown, Virginia.”. yearofreturn.com

In hindsight, it was an invitation of all descendants from years and years of slavery to come back to their original roots, original heritages and come back to their true homes. The project has many goals and targets. One being for people to come and experience culture and enjoyment in their hometown, another to celebrate the freedom that Africans all over the world currently have and also to boost tourism as it can be a leading indicator to business and investment.

What does this mean for Ghanaians, Africans in general?

For me, I think it brings a new sense of emotion and patriotism for not only Ghana, but for Africa as a whole. If you think about it, Africa definitely wasn’t the dream spot that people wanted to spend their Christmas season at. If it wasn’t America, it was Canada. If it wasn’t the UK it was somewhere in Europe ! But the fact that thousands of people dream about going home to see the places where their parents were born and raised, really brings a sense of change and greatness.

Afro Nation, the festival which features many African and Caribbean artists sharing the beautiful and lovely music that Africa has to provide is also a massive contributor to many people going to Ghana. The festival celebrated the vibrant and emerging culture of Africa and it has definitely had an impact on the younger generation all over the world.

Overall, I am proud of where Ghana and Africa as a whole has transformed and come to be in this current year, it’s rise in popularity, public perception and view has made it a number 1 tourist destination. Who would of thought- not me ! and who knows, mabye Ghana will be seeing me this year after-all ! *crosses fingers*

Thanks for reading !

YouTube

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Hey !

Now we all know and love the beautiful app and American video-sharing platform that’s known as YouTube. With approximately 1.8 billion users being pulled in every month, it is no shock that it has become a very successful platform which people have used to generate income.

I thought it would be great to put together a compilation of YouTubers that I have loved throughout the year- Note that I mainly use YouTube to watch style, beauty and fashion videos, so this may be slightly tailored towards the female side *sorry*

Without further or do, let’s begin…

The Real

The real consists of 5 ladies who sit around a table and talk about current topics from reality TV, social media and the latest gossip on all thing’s celebrities. (releases my inner Wendy Williams) there are some familiar faces on there- Tamera Housely from Sister Sister and Adrienne Houghton from 3LW. The thing that I love about this show so much is the diversity in the women, we have representation from the Latina community, African American community and the Asian community all coming together and embracing culture, with ranging personalities, I love how they express their views and opinions on current topics- definitely check them out !

Live from Layfield

The LFL girls are girls you would want as your big sisters or big cousins, they consist of three pharmacists (Oh they smart smart !) who are filled with so much wisdom and passion, give great advice videos on life experiences and also great story times. They also give biblical and religious perspectives on topics such as university, relationships and life in general

Rhea Ellen

Famous for her hilarious “Rhea’s Rants” Rhea Ellen’s videos are there for having a great laugh ! She rants on things that we can all find common ground on be it public transport, current trends, love island, customer service etc, and what makes her so funny is that she states things that we all can agree on, make sure to check her out.

Nella Rose

This should be no surprise, by far Nella Rose is one of the most popular UK YouTubers out there especially for the younger generation, from starting her videos in Uni with her friends, Nella has really risen up in the YouTube game as she currently has over 300,000 subscribers who tune in to all her videos. One word I can use to describe her videos is just ENTERTAINMENT – pure entertainment, whether it be tags or challenges

Shirley B Eniang

So, I have to give credit to my OG’s here on YouTube, the people I have been watching ever since I discovered what YouTube was. Shirley B Eniang, is a fashion, beauty and lifestyle youtuber, who comes onto her channel with nothing but class and style. Every video I watch of her, I feel inspired to just go out on a huge shopping trip and just buy everything that she shows in her video !

Peakmill

Another YouTube OG here, Peakmill is a Nigerian youtuber who focuses on makeup, style and HAIR- The ultimate hair guru out there. She is literally the person you would want as your personal hairdresser/stylist you would want for every occasion you have. Peakmill has been around for some years now, and I still watch each video she posts each time with excitement.

The Real
Live From Layfield
Rhea Ellen
Nella Rose
Shirley B Eniang
Peakmill

2020 Is That Year.

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2020. The year of clear vision.

The start of a new decade. I really had to sit down and ‘deep’ it. I have lived for a decade and I’m about to enter into a new decade. As I listen and read the many phrases of “you are about to enter into your best year yet” and “2020 we’re not slacking” I start to wonder how I can make this year my best.

2019 was hard. I’m sure many people can attest to this, for me personally the combination of second year of university, working on my personal development, my blog and applying for placements (which is too complicated to go into I don’t even know how to explain) it was a tough rollercoaster. It’s weird how people can relate to the feeling of 2019 bringing nothing but disappointments, lack of achievements and hurt.

But hey- it’s 2020, if you don’t remain positive, who will ?

1. Stop saying “New Year, New Me”.

Now I’m not trying to be a negative Nancy here, but stop saying this phrase unless you are actually going to do something about this “New Me” thing. I’m sure many of us on social media have seen the various stories and posts of how 2020 is going to be better than the previous year (including the woman who is stepping up on those steps with a box named “edges” signifying she is not leaving that behind lool) and how this year is going to be the best year yet because “I am now a changed person”. But it’s easier said then done. Don’t just say the phrase for saying sake- act on it.

Yes 2020 is the beginning of a new decade and it is good to have a positive outlook of your character for the year; however, it is important to remember that come December 31st 2020, you are not going to see a change in yourself unless you have worked on it
consistently throughout the year.

2. Get an accountability partner.

So, if you are going with this “New Year, New Me” vibe, at least get someone who can be
accountable for this. My suggestion will be to write down all your goals, either financial,
spiritual or character motivated and hand it over to someone who will be willing to check you up on some of your goals you had for the year. This can be someone close to you like a sibling, parent or a good friend. Make sure they are reliable and motivational though, you wouldn’t want it to be someone who doesn’t care about your growth or wellbeing. Therefore, look for someone who is going to add to your improvement and be accountable for your goals.

3. Get a gratitude jar.

I was introduced to this idea by my friend Tisha, who suggested getting a jar and writing on a piece of paper something you are grateful for within that day. By the end of the year, you can empty the jar and read all the things that you are grateful for within that year. I think as we go through the year, we may go through struggles or difficult time that makes us forget the smaller things we can be grateful for. Just having air go in and out of our lungs each day is a blessing, that can be something you put in your gratitude jar !
If you want this year to be remembered as a year of success, this gratitude jar will help you achieve it.

4. Just live.

This point applies to my generation, the younger 20’s or the older teens. I’m sure you have heard the saying “This new decade is going to be wild- you’re going to be married, having kids and buying a house” wait up, hold on a minute ! Please we are just 6 days into 2020 !!
Yes, the next 10 years ahead of you may look like a lot in terms of life changes, and it’s
nothing to be afraid of, but I urge you to just take this year and just live.

There is nothing wrong with staying focused on your future, but also remember to take the time out and just enjoy the year that is ahead of you. My “New Years Resolution” as people would like to call it is to just branch out of my comfort zone and try out new places and new activities, travel more and just LIVE- Not be so caught up and be strict on the goals I had planned for the year.

Thanks for reading this post, I hope you have a pleasant and peaceful year, and here’s to
new posts within the new year “ *clinks glass*

Remain Blessed.

When In Dam.

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So, I officially managed to squeeze in a trip to Amsterdam before the year ended. It has always been a fascinating place for me, somewhere I’ve wanted to visit for a while, not for any particular reason and yes guys not to smoke or anything! I guess it’s a place where young people can just go out for a weekend away. I was there for a total of 4 days and I will be sharing what I got up to plus some useful tips for making your stay there pleasant and enjoyable!

Day 1:

We arrived the day prior in the evening, tired and drained from travelling from the airport to our Bnb we decided to start our ventures on the following day, we went to a lovely place called The Breakfast Club for our breakfast in Sloterdijk, I found out about this place via the gram, and surprisingly they have some branches in London which I did not know about. This location was perfect as it allowed us to go into central straight from there via train, where we walked around, saw various souvenir places and got to experience the Dam trams.

The tram services in Amsterdam are great, as it acts as a mini tour bus, so if you see something you are interested in you can simply get off and walk to it. It runs direct through the city, and majority of trams stop at Amsterdam Centraal station where everything is situated.

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In the evening we explored the nightlife of Amsterdam Centraal, going to a bar called the SkyLounge. This was located above the Hilton Hotel just outside of the station and had a spectacular view of the city of Amsterdam, it had a rooftop for you to take pictures on, however due to the cold winter night we decided to stay inside and order a few drinks. I would recommend exploring the nightlife, just like you would in any city, Amsterdam has plenty of bars and restaurants for you to try out, however I would advise you to book in advance as places can be pretty packed!

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Day 2:
We visited the infamous VenusTempel museum also known as the place full of statues of parts where the sun doesn’t shine!

This is located in Centraal once again and was surprisingly very cheap! This was the only museum we visited, the Anne Frank house and the Van Gogh museum were all sold out, turns out you have to purchase tickets 2 months in advance!

We then went to the Hard Rock Café deeper into town, turns out they also have branches in the UK also! That’s the great thing about Dam, if you are not up to trying out new/foreign foods, there is always the safe option of sticking to what you know-majority of restaurants/cafes here in the UK are bound to be there also.

Near the Café was a souvenir shop where I could buy some keychains (I have a keychain collection for every country I go to). Although this shop was not expensive, I would recommend going to the market stalls for souvenirs as you can get some good deals there and buy souvenirs for a much cheaper price.unnamed-14

Day 3:

Day 3 consisted of activities galore! We first went to the Magna Plaza in centraal, I would say a slightly less fancy version of Harrods, but still decent. This place consisted of shops such as Mango and Coach, but we still tried to go to Dutch shops to gain a better experience of their style of clothing.

After bike riding around town, we went on the Amsterdam City Canal Cruise. This was a boat ride that took us around the many canals of Amsterdam, turns out there are many landmarks to see along the canal cruise such as the Crooked Houses, the Illuminated Laundry (AKA Neighbourhood) and the Mayor’s house! I would definitely recommend the boat cruise as it allows you to see the city of Amsterdam without going through the hassle of changing trains or trams.

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Useful Tips:

The Amsterdam City Card:

The Amsterdam City Card is a pass that allows you to get free transport on Metro,Tram, Bus and Train as well as access to museums such as the Van Gogh museum and the Rijksmuseum. This pass allows you to gain access to key tourist areas and allows you to go on the one hour canal cruise ride which was very worth it ! In all, you save loads of money and time from buying tickets and waiting in queues. If you are planning on going to Amsterdam very soon, then I highly recommend taking a look at purchasing the card if you are there for a long stay:

Wrap up warm:

Regardless of what time you go to Amsterdam, the city is full or large lakes and canals, emphasis on the canals- THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. Where we stayed had a huge canal outside, the minute we came out of our door, and although they can be peaceful and they provide a serene atmosphere to walk along with, walking along them at night can be very difficult. The combination of winds with the cold waters can make your walk really annoying, therefore a good coat, scar and hat will do you just fine!

Rent a Bike:

One thing I noticed once arriving to our BnB is that there are well developed cycle lanes everywhere, and EVERYONE rides a bike. It’s almost like it’s the norm to ride a bike, from young kids to elderly women all on bikes. When my friend’s said that they wanted to rent a bike to ride I definitely strayed away from the idea. I have never and will probably never ride a bike on these London streets, I’ve heard of too many accidents happening to cyclists and I wasn’t going to end up being in one, especially not in a foreign country!

However, renting a bike and riding along the streets of Amsterdam Centraal was one of the highlights of the whole trip for me, I felt like I got to indulge in the true Dam experience of riding a bike and especially since there were plenty of bike lanes, I felt more safer than ever ! I would definitely recommend renting a bike, they are cheap ( 1 hour was 4-5 euros) and effective in getting you from A to B.

And that’s all folks !

Thank you for reading my Amsterdam travel blog and I hope to document more of my travels in this pleasant upcoming year of 2020!

 

 

 

 

 

 

ESSENCE TALKS 5 – THE BBL DILEMMA.

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It’s Friday. You’ve just come home from a long week of work and your girls have invited you for a night out of drinks and fun. Despite your feet aching, your hair not being washed and your heart desperately yearning for your remote to watch Netflix in bed – you decide to go. That silk black dress that you know is figure hugging is eagerly staring back at you as it lays on your bed.. but then your head slowly starts to drop down almost as if you are a baby struggling to stay awake as you look at your “FUPA”

Okay story telling is over- let’s address the elephant in the room. Orrr page…

Yes, the infamous BBL, the abbreviation that is going all around the streams of social media and has now become the new trend/phase lately causing numerous of girls to go under the knife and causes numerous amounts of debates online. And here I am to add my own 2 cents into it.

Why am I calling it a dilemma? :
I decided to name this post the BBL dilemma only based on the reason that I am literally stuck on whether I support the option to have a procedure done and whether not to. I wouldn’t say I’m contradicting myself by supporting two different options but let’s just say I am in support of a person’s choice to change an insecurity if they have the means to and it is not detrimental to anyone’s wellbeing. However, I am also in much support of women not automatically succumbing to social trends based on their body part and then going under the knife is then seen as their only option to getting rid of a body part that society has deemed unflattering. So, since I haven’t come to a solid conclusion about which side, I’m on I will call it a dilemma.

The Biology Lesson:
BBL’S or Brazilian Butt Lifts is a surgical procedure in which fat is transferred from different body parts such as the abdomen, hips, lower back and thighs through liposuction and then transferred to the butt to create a desired look of a larger butt or a curvier body.
I can’t pinpoint exactly when it started to be on the rise in terms of popularity, but I believe it began to be an American craze before it crossed borders to the UK. According to the BBC there are several reasons why BBL’s cause severe damage or even death to women, such as injecting the fat the deep muscle tissue which can be incorrectly put into the veins, fat being transferred to the bloodstream and then to the heart, or it being done by inexperienced practitioners.

Image result for bbl surgery

Average People:

This whole post was inspired after watching Live from Layfield’s YouTube video talking about the problem of average people (mainly being influencers, youtubers etc) getting these procedures done. It leaves us to really question where the line has to be drawn with it. I like the points they were making, and it really made me question some of the things regarding these surgical procedures, one being about insecurity.

I’ve started to notice that you are never really going to be happy with your insecurities, whether it be the size of your height, your FUPA or the size of your butt, how it doesn’t agree with the size that society has deemed to be acceptable. But the fact that going under the knife to create something that agrees with societal standards, doesn’t mean deep down you have changed your insecurity, you have almost just masked it.

So, when its average people promoting this procedure and ‘influencing’ to follow suit, I guess it leads us to question are they really influencing body confidence, or influencing societal standards?

Solutions:
Like the YouTube video said, I believe the main solution to this is to know who you are in Christ/ or at least know your worth if you are not religious. God did not make any mistake when making you, this is evident by making you very unique to everyone else, no one else has your fingerprint even, if you think God made you the same would he have let things such as the amount of hairs on your head be the same as everyone else’s? I’m not trying to preach here but its’ food for thought.

Others include:
-Limiting your social media time: One tip that Is recommended is to have a limit on your social media time, I would say Instagram the most, bodies are plastered constantly all over the explore page and it can be discouraging to one’s eye. If it’s really affecting, you decrease your time

-Verbal agreements: if this means standing in the mirror every day for 5 minutes repeating to yourself “I am happy with my body” then by all means do so. Verbally repeating something to yourself each day will aid in increasing your self-confidence.

Thanks for reading x

TWENTY.

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So…

We’re officially in the adulthood stage aren’t we ?

Can’t consider myself a ‘teenager’ can you Efe ?

Sigh. I would repeat these questions to myself at least twice a week for the 6 months that created the first half of 2019. Boy was I scared !

Yup, so i’ve finally made it to 20. The big 2 0. The cut off point of the word “teen” ,and the time where you realise life is just coming at you really fassss !!

The time where your beloved uncles and aunties will walk up to you and say “Eyyyyy Efe , you have grown paaaa” or the time when your mum travels back down memory lane and constantly reminds me of the time when I was a baby crying with my Eczema skin. Yup, this is the time when I knew these statements will come to pass and , well , it’s finally here.

I must say I was really scared to turn 20, when you realise it, it’s actually a whole 2 decades on this earth. It’s just something about having the word “teen” in your age that sort of preserves your innocence. It’s the time where this new decade will probably see me walking down the aisle, raising a family and starting my new life as an accomplished woman- is it not scary?

Normally I would be so excited for my birthdays, since it’s at the beginning of the month it only leaves me with a few days to countdown to the exact time it hits midnight on the 9th of June before I can celebrate. But this year was different. As each month went by, I was getting more anxious about entering my twenties , and also it being June , making me realise that it’s halfway throughout the year and time is ticking away for me to reach all of my goals.

Jackie Aina’s video on “Things They Don’t Tell You In Your 20’s” came in handy as when I sat down to decide on what I would include in the post, watching her video allowed me to hear some great advice from someone who has enjoyed and lived throughout their 20’s

She gave advice on the things I guess i’ve heard before – making your dreams work, enjoying singlehood and of course wearing SPF 😂 , but the one thing that stood out to me was not being too hard on yourself.

The minute I was settled into the year of 2019, amongst other things I was preparing for, I immediately started to be very harsh on myself and my accomplishments. From questioning how far this blog has come, to my personal achievements and of course ‘comparing’ myself to others and what they had achieved by my age. I guess this is what caused most of the anxiety throughout the beginning of the year- comparison.

Of course your 20’s are vital years , they are the years where your life can change drastically , and your life can transform based on the decisions you may decide to take through it – but one piece of advice I would give to any 20 year old reading this now – is to make it your selfish years. Make it the years where you put yourself first. At least that’s what i’ve decided to do.

Allowing society to impede on your overall outlook on your life is definitely not being selfish. Being selfish is taking a step back and analysing what you want from your life and making decisions that would purely be of your benefit. Your 20’s only come once in your lifetime , let it be a time where you are making decisions for yourself and allowing them to make you happy.

I guess another thing I would say is to take risks, at the end of the day you are still young. So having a trial and error period (of course not letting it be detrimental to your entire future) is no problem. Allowing these years to be a time of trialling and making small risks doesn’t have to be scary at all.

Overall, enjoy this new era ! Not a lot of people made it to 20 , and if you have and are reading this then you have done a pretty good job!

Thanks for reading ! Stay blessed x