“I don’t know what i look like!”

Hey all, It’s good to be back again with a new post!

I must say I was hesitant when thinking about writing this blog post; was I was in the right position to write about this topic? Did I know enough? Was I really going through it? Would it trigger readers? Is it too negative? Do I even have this condition or am I just suffering from insecurity issues?

But it’s been playing on my mind for a long time, and that’s usually a sign that it must get written down on paper… or Word doc lool.

So June 21st arrives, the official day of summer but also the day of freedom (until Boris came and done a madness) and you hear your girls discussing the latest outfits and outings to get ready for as you venture into your endless summertime plans.

But then comes the recurring thoughts that become all too familiar “I wonder how I’ll look in this dress”, “maybe I should wear something that will cover my thighs” “something that I can feel comfortable in whilst being outside should do” “my body looks very different to how it did yesterday” and so on, and so on…

I then realised with these comments came the constant obsession with what I looked like. I guess it didn’t help that I had a huge mirror in my room, that you couldn’t avoid, it would take covering it with a massive cloth or shattering it into a million pieces to avoid taking a sneak peak at this morphed idea into what my body looked like.

I had always come across the word of “Body Dysmorphia” on various social media accounts, people talking about its detrimental effects as you are constantly fixated on your outer bodily appearance. The constant obsession with minor details of your body that nobody would even notice until you picked it out to them. Once I realised that I had started to possess the same triggers that were associated with someone that was experiencing this, it made me want to research more into it.

Body Dysmorphia can be described as “a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others” (NHS)

After asking some friends on my IG about it, they also stated that it was:

“Not being able to actually perceive your body as it really is in a positive way”

“Disfigure of a person’s body”

Whilst these comments and descriptions were hard to take in, the reality of it all was that it hit home for me. I could resonate with these feelings so much that I started to question if this was truly something I was dealing with and had to go into deep prayer about it. It’s something I realised a lot of young women, and even young men face, with the constant pressures of social media around us, projecting these ideal body types that we are supposed to portray.

But as I always do, I like to end my blogposts with some tips/tricks that have helped me to overcome this in some way:

  • Confide:

Once I realised that it was starting to really bother me, I decided to open up to a close friend, and share some of my struggles with her. We then prayed about it together and decided to be accountable to each other for it. This helped a lot as it allowed for me to face the reality of it really, for me to stop being in so much denial!

Affirm:

I am a huge advocate of affirmations and speaking positivity into your life. I do it for almost everything and I knew the same could be applied for what I was going through here. I made sure that every morning, the same mirror where I would look at and criticise myself over, would be the same mirror where I would speak encouragement over myself.

  • Be Practical:

I decided to turn these negatives into positives, starting a new fitness routine not to aspire to the crazy body goals I put over myself, but for my general health and wellbeing. This included implementing more walks into my daily routine, and eating more clean. Reassuring me that I’m making these changes for my overall health, which made me feel much better about myself.

One thing I will want to end this post with, is the fact that this is something that as a society, have become unashamed to talk about. If I had been struggling with this a few years back, I would have never mentioned a word to anyone about it. But the fact that I can confide in my friends, and even write a blogpost about it knowing that people I know would take a glance at these words, does make me anxious, but at the same time reassures me that I am pushing myself in being more transparent with my blog than ever- for me that is a positive!

For anyone reading this and thinking that they can relate to what has been stated above, it slightly hurts me to know that those painful feelings and thoughts are what you also share too. At the same time, it reassures me that this is a common thing that happens to a lot of people and it’s okay to share, educate and raise awareness about.

Here are some useful resources for anyone that wants to read up more on the topic:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/body-dysmorphia/

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd/about-bdd/

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-body-dysmorphic-disorder

Stay blessed!

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