Hey Readers !
I feel as if I haven’t spoken about my Christian journey on here in a long time, I’ve been blogging about other topics apart from my journey with Christ, and I guess the reason behind this post is a great way to get back into doing so.
Unfortunately I haven’t been in the greatest state of mind when it comes to my relationship with Christ. Who knew that behind me sharing motivational scriptures on my IG stories or writing about topics that are fun and enthusiastic, there was a girl sitting behind a screen suffering from a mixture of emotions and uncertainty with God?
Long story short, I had suffered two major disappointments in the past week and a half, mainly to do with my education. I had cried, strayed away from God and doubted he had even listened to my prayers. The fact that I had to wake up the next day and walk into university, engage in conversation with people with a wide smile on my face was the most daunting part of it all. It was hard.
I really believed that my prayers were answered and that God was going to pull through for me. So when I was hit with the disappointments, I was really angry with God, I questioned him with all sorts of things- “God why didn’t you answer my prayer” “Did I do something wrong, is this a punishment or something ?” “Surely the things I ask for would have brought great joy and glory to you, so why did you deny them? ” and I was just left confused.
The ironic thing was, immedialtey when I had discovered the disappointment, the first thing I did was to go on my laptop, play a worship song, fall on my knees and cry out to him. THAT’S WHAT MADE ME PAUSE. After drying my face from the black spectacles left from my mascara ( typical of me to not buy waterproof ey? ) I turned off the music, and just sat in silence for a while.
I realised that whatever trial I go through, God always pulls me back towards him. The minute I have an unanswered prayer, or things are just turning out for the worse I immediately call out to him. Isn’t it strange that the person I would expect myself to be the most angry at is the one I am driving towards as my immediate help and guider? This my friends is the ultimate and indescribable power of God. Just face it, once you’ve given your life solely to God, there’s no turning back- he has you in his grasp until the very end. That’s why in any situation you may come across- think of the first thing you turn to…
Yes you may turn towards friends, and family for support, But when you lay in bed thinking about those things, those thoughts go directly towards God. It’s taken social media and a good church service today to make me realise that God listens to us when we pray. Social media because I just happened to come across a SnapChat post by a friend, sharing her thoughts on God putting us through tough trials and seasons for a reason and then from the church sermon, I learnt that God simply listens to us when we pray- it just might not be the answer we were expecting.
In the meantime, I’ve started a new Bible plan titled ” What Hinders Answers To Prayer” and it’s going well so far, given me all the answers I need. So hopefully I will completely overcome this overbearing hurt that I am feeling.
I decided to share this post because to whoever is reading, I know you’ve been in my position before. Even if you are not religious, you’ve wanted something so bad and it just never happens… I anticipate that once you read this post, you will find some kind of encouragement and motivation from this, so I leave you with some quotes that have uplifted my spirit :
Verses to lift you up whilst in disappointment:
Philippians 4:6 : Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God
John 16:33 : I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace . In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world
Psalm 46:10: He says ” Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth”
Psalm 55:22: Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Remain Blessed x