Confessions Of An Insecure Girl

Hey Readers…

So I remember writing this post back in April of what was 2018 , however something prevented me from posting this , but i thought its’s a new year and why let things get in the way of posting your great work and effort … so it’s not an easy post but it i’m sure it would motivate someone who may read this :

So, let’s take a trip down to memory lane… maybe around secondary school times. The early stages of puberty have just kicked in and you see yourself developing in various ways. Ways that maybe you didn’t quite understand. As unsolicited cushions of fatty tissue, unattractive blemishes and wild pubic hair begin to invade your body.

Then the social construct of insecurities comes along, and you start to realise that as your body changes, the images you’re faced with in a daily basis don’t. The covers of Vogue, Grazia and even page 3 of the Sun, look nothing like you. And before you know it, you’re out of the game. You tick none of the boxes when it comes to the world’s perspective of conventional beauty.

When it comes to insecurities, the thought of the body comes to mind, doesn’t it ? Don’t get me wrong, body image- the major player that men and women of all ages have to battle, even as we mature and emotional uncertainties about our bodies tend to remain forever young. This can range from height and weight, right down to awkward physical assets such as boobs or maybe deeper issues such as skin tone. It has been stated that by as young as 13, at least 50% of girls are significantly unhappy about their physical appearance. Upon reading this admittedly, I fell into the 50%.

University intensified this for me. Stepping into a new place where you barely know anyone and first impressions are imperative to making your mark. The first nights out are always the great ones meeting people and making close friends. However, it stood out to me that I was insecure about my appearance when I wouldn’ even wear certain clothes because it exposed certain things about my body . E.g weight gain. I feel like this was the case for many young men who aspire to be extremely built #Gains and women who want the cole bottle curves.

I guess it became quite serious when I was at the point if virtually starving myself, just to get the look that I wanted. The look that “society” deemed to be perfect. Now dieting is completely fine, and it is considered healthy- only when you are doing it the right way and for the right reasons though. Now, I can admit that I was doing it for my appearance and definitely doing the most unadvisable way. I would have frequent periods of simply not eating ; describing it as my way of “fasting” and adding my ideal body weight to my short lost of prayer points.

I fell deep into the dark side of social media and created a new goal for my weight gain.

Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape which is mostly influenced by social media. I mean amazing bodies are literally glorified all over timelines and explore pages, and while this virtual fit-fam may seem motivating to one individual, it is a detrimental reminder of a constant insecurity to the other.

With around 800 million people using Instagram daily, it is inevitable to be influenced by the photos posted on the platform and not develop insecurities about it. Especially for a young adult in this generation, you are more or less likely to have at least one type of social media platform you use, whether it be Instagram, Snapchat or even Facebook. So you are bound to have encounters of public figures or celebrities with ideal body types which can be discouraging at times to the viewer.

I really got hit with anxiety with my self when it came to social media. I was constantly checking my weight, my appearance in the mirror, how my makeup looked whenever I was out and constantly reapplying that Fenty glow believing it would magically mask how I truly felt. I was so bothered by how others perceived me and would review old selfies to remind myself of the times I felt I was THE actual sauce. It took me a while to realise that it was in this constant cycle of feeling unfulfilled about myself and how uncomfortable I was to be in my own body. I knew I had to control this urge of wanting to improve something with my appearance, even when there was nothing to work on.

So here are some thing i’ve started to note to ease this feeling of not appreciating myself:

Written affirmations : I would write down my best assets and things that I value about myself and read them over and over again until I started to appreciate these things for their true worth.

My Faith: Being a Christian, I turned to God for help and I found out that Psalm 193:14 really aided me in struggling times, but after a while I started to overcome my insecurities with his help! I started to be honest with him about my insecurities and I started to realise that God has definitely made me the way he is for a reason.

So to end it here , I hope this motivated you to accept yourself for the way you are. This was a long one so thanks if you made it to the end 😂,

Thanks for reading and see you on my next post !

Top 5 Ways To De-Stress

(Before I even start, apologies for the extremely late uploads, I’ve been drowned in work for the past couple weeks but hopefully I can get back on a roll!)

When life get’s in the way, and you feel like your body has been physically pulled from side to side, up and down with things bombarding you all the time- it can get pretty hectic. However I find these easy steps/ ways have helped me to relax myself and just de-stress as I combat my daily list of problems!

1.Prepare for the morning the night before

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When you’ve a busy day planned ahead of you, with 15 things to remember to get done, you wake up and find you haven’t even prepared for half of them! Doing activities such as preparing lunch the night before, fixing your entire outfit from head to toe and even laying it out on your bed the night before. Packing your essentials in your bag for the next day and organising your schedule for any important meetings or appointments can help you out greatly as it is similar to a checklist. Once the priority is taken care of, you can move onto the next! (saves a lot of time also)

2. Don’t rely on your memory –write it down

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This is a follow up from step 1. Your brain acts as a checklist and along with the other 1000’s of information you have to hold in- there’s only so much it can obtain, making it harder for your brain to function well. Some people are experts in remembering lot’s of info- but for me I’m the complete opposite. Keeping a planner of things to do (to do lists) help a lot as it’s like getting all the clunk and junk out of your head and onto paper. Alternatively, you can find somewhere more reliable and place your important information there, e.g. phone where you have an installed notes app or set reminders.

3. Use time wisely/Organise your time well

This step is one I particularly enjoy, weird fact is that I find it kind of therapeutic to me when I am organising the time I have for the day. But in reality this step really helps especially if you have different things to do in each day. For example, your day can include running errands, answering your emails or files then going for a jog or going to the gym- both completely different activities which can vary through time. However if you begin to calculate how much time you need to spend on each activity, you can stick to your timing and soon everything you need to do for that day will get done ! Try and prioritise your timing to the most important things for example any assignments/essays can have the most time spent on and time for social life and relaxing can yes unfortunately have to be left for the later times- sad I know.

4. Stop saying negative things to yourself

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If you wake up every morning, and look in the mirror and say to yourself ” I am a panda” your more or less going to start believing it aren’t you ! this is the exact same with stressing out about things. Now I had to learn this and apply it to myself as last year I clouded my thoughts with ” I’m not going to do that” or “oh that’ll never get done” or ” I will never find the time to do that”. I realised that the more I was saying these things the more I was doing it and that led me astray from being organised and productive. If you just simply make the small change of pumping positive thoughts of ” I will not be stressed” or even before you leave the house ” I am going to have a stress-free day” it’s most likely that it will happen as your mind-set is in that positive direction

5. Seek support from others/ Prayer

Now of course there are times where life get’s the better of us and we simply can’t always handle things in our control. That’s where the help of close family members and friends help to encourage you along the way of a stressful time. Find someone you can confide in and who will strengthen you to go through a troublesome time. Or , prayer can also help to relieve some stress too. If you vent out to God it’s like a weight lifted off of your soldiers as you are verbally releasing your troubles and stresses onto somebody who can deal with them. Even if you’re not religious, just mediating can help you fall into a relaxed state and relieve you of your stress.

Hope this helped ! 🙂