Dealing With Loss and Uncertainty.

Just as the title of this post says, 2020 has been a year which has brought just that- loss and uncertainty.

The other day, in my bible studies group, we were discussing how this year has brought so much loss for many people. COVID being one factor, waking up to the same BBC news report of the number of cases going up and up, you would wonder if the next person would be a family member or your loved one.

Regardless of that, this year has not been easy. We all suffered the loss of basketball star Kobe Bryant- sitting here writing this post, I guess it still feels weird to say he has gone. I also remember the exact moment Caroline Flack sadly passed- I just began to question why we are all constantly reminded of time to grieve and mourn, whilst we are also reminded that people are loosing their lives on a daily.

Nevertheless, dealing with this period is not easy. I am very grateful that I haven’t had to experience it so deeply myself, but I know of people who have had to deal with it, and it can be tough. Whilst I went around doing my research and speaking to people, I realised that there are many ways of dealing with loss and uncertainty, it is subjective. But I hope these next three points would help anyone who would be going through a difficult time.

1. Remembering there is a time for everything

I’m a Christian, and you’ll always here about my faith on here. Ecclesiastes 3 talks about how there is a time for everything. There literally is a time for every single moment, and as unpleasant as it sounds- there is a time where we will all depart from here and from our loved ones. All good things must come to an end and it is okay to take time to adjust to good things or good people’s lives ending

One thing I also want to stress is to not live in fear- to not let our current circumstances around us drive us to insanity wondering if it’s yourself or a loved one going to pass next- I don’t believe this is God’s intention for us.

2. Dealing with it in your own way
Many people experience and handle loss or uncertainty in different ways, I believe there is no wrong or right way to do so. Finding what works best for you will likely make the process much easier and help you to get a speedy recovery. Whether that be spending some time to understand your loss by yourself- or spending it in the comfort of your friends and family. Whatever works for you well is the way you should go forward with it.

3. Looking for a positive future
We are more than halfway through the year, and whilst it hasn’t been an easy one, you have to look for a silver lining somewhere. It’s not the best to have a mindset that nothing positive could come out of this year. Whilst the grieving process can take a while to go through for people, try not to let it consume the remainder of the year. There is still hope that you will go through this tough season, and this could take the help of family and close ones to be with you through the journey.

What ways have you managed deal with loss and uncertainty? Comment below

Thanks for reading!

Confessions Of An Insecure Girl

Hey Readers…

So I remember writing this post back in April of what was 2018 , however something prevented me from posting this , but i thought its’s a new year and why let things get in the way of posting your great work and effort … so it’s not an easy post but it i’m sure it would motivate someone who may read this :

So, let’s take a trip down to memory lane… maybe around secondary school times. The early stages of puberty have just kicked in and you see yourself developing in various ways. Ways that maybe you didn’t quite understand. As unsolicited cushions of fatty tissue, unattractive blemishes and wild pubic hair begin to invade your body.

Then the social construct of insecurities comes along, and you start to realise that as your body changes, the images you’re faced with in a daily basis don’t. The covers of Vogue, Grazia and even page 3 of the Sun, look nothing like you. And before you know it, you’re out of the game. You tick none of the boxes when it comes to the world’s perspective of conventional beauty.

When it comes to insecurities, the thought of the body comes to mind, doesn’t it ? Don’t get me wrong, body image- the major player that men and women of all ages have to battle, even as we mature and emotional uncertainties about our bodies tend to remain forever young. This can range from height and weight, right down to awkward physical assets such as boobs or maybe deeper issues such as skin tone. It has been stated that by as young as 13, at least 50% of girls are significantly unhappy about their physical appearance. Upon reading this admittedly, I fell into the 50%.

University intensified this for me. Stepping into a new place where you barely know anyone and first impressions are imperative to making your mark. The first nights out are always the great ones meeting people and making close friends. However, it stood out to me that I was insecure about my appearance when I wouldn’ even wear certain clothes because it exposed certain things about my body . E.g weight gain. I feel like this was the case for many young men who aspire to be extremely built #Gains and women who want the cole bottle curves.

I guess it became quite serious when I was at the point if virtually starving myself, just to get the look that I wanted. The look that “society” deemed to be perfect. Now dieting is completely fine, and it is considered healthy- only when you are doing it the right way and for the right reasons though. Now, I can admit that I was doing it for my appearance and definitely doing the most unadvisable way. I would have frequent periods of simply not eating ; describing it as my way of “fasting” and adding my ideal body weight to my short lost of prayer points.

I fell deep into the dark side of social media and created a new goal for my weight gain.

Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape which is mostly influenced by social media. I mean amazing bodies are literally glorified all over timelines and explore pages, and while this virtual fit-fam may seem motivating to one individual, it is a detrimental reminder of a constant insecurity to the other.

With around 800 million people using Instagram daily, it is inevitable to be influenced by the photos posted on the platform and not develop insecurities about it. Especially for a young adult in this generation, you are more or less likely to have at least one type of social media platform you use, whether it be Instagram, Snapchat or even Facebook. So you are bound to have encounters of public figures or celebrities with ideal body types which can be discouraging at times to the viewer.

I really got hit with anxiety with my self when it came to social media. I was constantly checking my weight, my appearance in the mirror, how my makeup looked whenever I was out and constantly reapplying that Fenty glow believing it would magically mask how I truly felt. I was so bothered by how others perceived me and would review old selfies to remind myself of the times I felt I was THE actual sauce. It took me a while to realise that it was in this constant cycle of feeling unfulfilled about myself and how uncomfortable I was to be in my own body. I knew I had to control this urge of wanting to improve something with my appearance, even when there was nothing to work on.

So here are some thing i’ve started to note to ease this feeling of not appreciating myself:

Written affirmations : I would write down my best assets and things that I value about myself and read them over and over again until I started to appreciate these things for their true worth.

My Faith: Being a Christian, I turned to God for help and I found out that Psalm 193:14 really aided me in struggling times, but after a while I started to overcome my insecurities with his help! I started to be honest with him about my insecurities and I started to realise that God has definitely made me the way he is for a reason.

So to end it here , I hope this motivated you to accept yourself for the way you are. This was a long one so thanks if you made it to the end 😂,

Thanks for reading and see you on my next post !

Setting Your Mindset Up For School

So, it’s officially September (seriously guys this year is going too fast, I can literally remember the 31st of December 2017 when I was in church getting ready for the new year ha ha) and if you haven’t already seen the back 2 school adverts on television and the college enrolment posters on billboards and train stations then maybe you’ve just been hiding under a rock look. But it is definitely back to school season! and what better way of starting the month off with some tips on how to prepare your mindset off for back to school.

I think the first step to getting in the right mindset is doing it PRACTICALLY. And by this, I mean getting the necessary resources for a good school year. This can range from correct uniform if you are in a secondary institution, or getting clothes needed for sixth form or university. Stationary is essential for school, this can range from notepads to folders, to flash cards, highlighters, even a good functioning laptop is needed if you are in a higher institution. Practically getting yourself back into the school zone will give you a good shock, and tell you that you are going to have a great school year, and you’ve left that lazy holiday mentality back in Ibiza (or wherever you went lool…)

Secondly, it’s all about the MENTAL preparation. Let’s face it, school can be stressful, very stressful. I’ve mentioned in the past about taking care of your mental health, and I can’t reiterate this enough- its so important. School is a place where you make friends and meet them every day, however it can also be one of the loneliest places, especially in university (I’ve had my experiences of this too) so mentally preparing yourself for what can seem like a long year is very important. So, try and do what is best for your mental health, whether by talking to mentors or councillors, family members or investing in your faith e.g. prayer. Going in with a strong mind can help you when you face obstacles such as exam stress.

Lastly, PHYSICALLY. I don’t think this is really talked about enough, but physical health is really important too. It can be simple things such as eating healthy and having a balanced diet. At the end of the day you need to have energy to focus and perform tasks to the best of your ability in order to perform well at school. So gradually beginning a routine of getting enough sleep, eating the right things and drinking enough water can really make a difference to your school day. And this depends on where you are in your education, for example a Uni student may need a lot more energy for all-nighters and long library sessions in comparison to someone who has just started year 7, so take time and evaluate how much energy you need for a school day. Physical health is just as important as mental health. Both work in unison.

In conclusion, this was just a short post put together, as I was reflecting on how I can make my school year a better and efficient one. I thought it was great to share on my blog for those starting school soon, or for those who have already started a new year. Wishing you a blessed, prosperous and enjoyable school year!!

My University Experience SO FAR

My University Experience Blog –

Woow 2018 definitely needs to slow down, because it is already March and I need to catch up!  Happy New Month guys!!

So, as we are already into the new year I decided to reminisce on how my Uni experience has been so far :

First things first, I can start off by saying that being at university has enabled me to learn so much about myself in terms of how I deal with my schoolwork, my friends, my social life and my extra-curricular activities. These past few months have really allowed me to evaluate how I am especially without living with my parents and also with moving to a new city in the UK. So, I’ll explain exactly how my experience has been so far…

Let’s talk school work. So, prior to starting university I had no idea what the transaction will be like from a-levels to degree type of studying, so I wasn’t ready for the big jump in terms of how lectures worked and how coursework was planned out. I found attending lectures in my first couple of weeks quite simple as I had just started, and I thought it would be best to not miss anything important- but by the time I got to the end of my semester the familiar phrase “you’re gonna miss some of your lectures” became to common in my case. I had never attended a proper lecture before coming to university, only through an open day visit or if I attended a guest lecture, so the whole system of adjusting to lecturing style was new to me but I eventually got the hang of it.

You think A-levels gives you independence? wait till you reach university level- now that is where the independence really lies. You are an individual learner to the core! Yes, they provide you with resources and work to benefit you, but it is solely up to you whether you want to use them to your benefit or not, at the end of the day they all impact you on how well you perform at the end of the semesters. But I learnt from a-levels that I am extremely extra so whatever resources they give me I just use it to the fullest anyway, even if it not that necessary to my work.

Okay, enough about the boring topic of work, we know that university doesn’t only include school work but also a lot of social activities on the side. Now my uni (which I can’t disclose for personal reasons and also because I’m not trying to do the most lool…) offers a great university experience especially in your first week or 2 of starting. Once I arrived I immediately knew I didn’t want to be that person who stayed in their room and didn’t socialise with anybody, so I made an effort to speak to my flatmates and to get to know people who I had never come across before, and I am glad that I made that choice as It helped me to make friends whilst I was just getting to know the university for what it really is.

Likewise, with extra-curricular activities and societies, I also made the effort to join some clubs that would not only get me out of my comfort zone, but that would also make my university experience a successful and interesting one. We all need a break from revision or coursework once in a while, so I made the effort of joining societies that I would love to do in my spare time. For example, I decided to let my creative side come out a bit, so I joined a society called Open Minds who specialise in drama, poetry, music and spoken word. It was actually a great experience as I ended up becoming an intern for them and also performing one of my spoken word pieces as their showcase which I really loved doing. There are bound to be some sort of society that will cater to your personal interests, so I would encourage you to join some!

Money- What is that ?? no really what is money in university please? It is somehow non-existent really because it just disappears out of your account just like that! And to think I was watching tons of financial preparation videos before I reached uni to prepare myself in advance. Yeah, knowing me and my spending habits, it never worked really. I probably need to do a separate post on money and finances at university, and the lessons I learnt from it.

Well since I am only in my 2nd semester of my 1st year, there isn’t really much I can say, but maybe I will do an updated uni experience, when I finish 1st year or 2nd year, so that concludes my blog post.
Thanks for reading!

How To Survive A-Levels

Woow, I can really say that time goes quickly, it was just this year that I had finished my A Levels and I had collected my results and now I’m in Uni! Time does go really quickly. Being completely honest, A Levels are not a joke… point blank period. They are really stressful, hard and tough, but you can make them easier as long as you follow some steps that helped me along the way to combat pressure and stress that exams can give you. So below I have 7 steps that helped me survive A-levels. Of course there are plenty more of these steps, however I feel like these ones in particular really helped me and saved me from breakdowns along the way (not that I didn’t have any lool) . Also these may not work for everyone, however I encourage you to look at these and see which ones best apply to you!

Start Now!
If there is any lesson that you can learn from doing your A Levels, is that there is no time at all. If you think about it practically you don’t really go to school as much. If you minus the weekends, holidays (Christmas and Easter), Half-terms and study leaves, you are really not in school for even half of the year. With so much content to cover in such a small amount of time, it is easy to leave things till the last minute. That’s why as soon as you hear your teachers mentioning exams to you, get started on a revision plan, revision notes and resources. For me, I really can’t work under pressure that’s why I start things way in advance. However, some people are good under pressure and can work really well under those circumstances, however I feel even with a-levels you need to have some kind of early background plan at first. Trust me when I say this. before you know it exams will be round the corner!
Make a revision routine/study plan
Linking back to my first point, making a study routine and sticking to it helps. Sometimes you get overwhelmed with how much work you have to do, and it looks like you don’t know where to begin. Having a study plan will allow you to cover as much work for each of your courses. For example, in A2 I done 3 subjects, so I dedicated 2 days out of the week to the subject that I struggled with the most or had most work with, then the other 3 days I would separate them out with my three subjects hope that made sense? Weekends was dedicated to homework or any bits that I needed to catch up on. I guess the only thing is to make it realistic and being disciplined with it. If you don’t like doing Biology on Mondays, put it on Thursdays or Fridays. Practical things like these would make you organise your subjects around your time and your way of studying. Apps such as Microsoft Word or Excel are really good for planning these out
Get Resources
Seriously, they make revision guides and books for a reason! they are for your benefit only. Use as much resources as you possibly can this includes; Past papers, Revision Guides, Textbooks, Online resources to help you study. Practise does make purpose and the more you practise with these the more you progress. They can get a bit repetitive, but they really do aid you in your work, so try and get as much as you can
Get Your Syllabus
Essentially, to do well on the exam you need to know what topics could come up and what to expect. If you know your Syllabus inside out, then you know what could come up in your exam. One thing I love about doing this is getting all the topics that you need to learn and writing them out on a paper, then once you have covered a topic by maybe doing an exam question on it then you can tick it off, so you know you have learnt and revised it well. See it as a checklist so you know that you have covered it, and also use past papers on each topic to ensure that if it does come up in the exam you know exactly what to expect
Use Your Teachers
Right, I know we aren’t all fans of particular teachers, the ones that have mood swings, the ones that seem like they don’t know what they are doing and the ones that take things too seriously. But at the end of the day teachers are one of your best resources. They are he ones teaching you the content. You can rely on your textbooks sometimes, but you need teachers to explain certain things to you and guide you on how to write essays. Remember they have the expertise and the training in this field, so you do have to listen to them. Also, some of them may be kind to hold after school sessions or revision classes on the weekend so take advantage of them if they do
Stay Motivated
There can be times when we all lose motivation when the going gets tough… hey I even loose motivation to write blogposts sometimes. But we have to find the motivation to carry on either way somehow. Maybe this could be through your parents, a friend or even a teacher. Or if you look up to someone for inspiration, try and remind yourself that they are the reason why you are writing that extra paper, or staying up longer to read over something. One method you could try is giving yourself a reward. After every time you do an essay or a practise paper, reward yourself with your favourite food or with a break. That way it would motivate you to do more work and reward yourself even more.
Self-care
This is the most important step. Honestly A-levels can take a huge toll out of your year at school, but don’t neglect your self-care also. Make sure you mind is right, make sure that you are speaking to somebody regularly, and definitely make sure you are getting enough rest, food and sleep which is essential for your body. Take care of yourself from the inside and it will show on the outside. Don’t let exam stress control your life. If you work hard whilst you’re at it, it will definitely pay off in the end!